Needle skills

First clinic appointment today. They took a blood sample to check if I had down regulated. I can phone in tomorrow afternoon for the results. Gee, got the grumpiest nurse today. I am glad they rotate them so chances are I won’t see her again for a while. She showed me how to inject myself and I had to practise with a small cushion that presumably has the same resistance as your tummy. It felt bizarre but I guess is doable.

She told me that they had to re-match me with a donor since the last one had filled his quota of 10 families. Goodbye auburn haired PhD physicist. I quite liked him. The only option now is a guy who is in the RAF and likes DIY. Oh dear………He is the only donor they have. I didn’t want to disrupt the process but should I need donor sperm in the future I will buy it at the European Sperm Bank.

the first truely helpful conversation

I spoke to the phsychologist today. She was really nice and very easy to talk to. I was a bit nervous about it but soon felt quite comfortable with her. She asked my why I was considering DI and I told her that without a man in my life I don’t have many other options and I didn’t feel I could wait much longer.  I don’t seem to be the only woman who has that thought which I found quite reassuring. She asked me what my friends and family think about it and I think she was quite pleased to hear that I had discussed it before. She just wanted to make sure that this was a well thought through decision and that I had support for it.

What I found really interesting was that she also interviews all the sperm donors. I thought that they would take anyone, particularly because there is such a shortage of donors. In contrast, they are specifically look for men who are (in her words)  ”emotionally detached from their genetic material”. Not the ones that “have the kettle on and cake ready waiting for their offspring to knock on the door 18 years later” and not the ones who feel their genes need to be preserved in as many children as possible. They want altruists who just want to help others and are happy to sign away all parental rights. Plus, they have to have super sperm or else it won’t survive the freezing process. The sperm is checked for viability, chromosomal defects and the donor has to declare that he has no genetic diseases – they can be sued!

More surprisingly even, she was not supportive of using a known donor, someone who one knows personally. She was worried about his motive and whether he really would be able to leave the child with me or if he wanted to be involved, possibly even see the child as a facilitator to have a relationship. Unless the donor would be far away and ideally in a relationship she would not recommend it. Why worrying about all this? At the end, the decision to use a donor from the clinic or a known donor is up to me. Would I want to wait? No, no more waiting. Ok, the she will type up a support letter to the clinic.

obstacles, obstacles

One thought the GP left me with is that there is a real shortage of donor sperm at the clinic. What if there isn’t any available? What if I have to wait a long time? I feel sick thinking that anything could get in the way with my decision to get on with donor insemination. I don’t feel I have a lot of time left. I am not getting younger.

I googled donor sperm and sperm bank and one can indeed buy sperm on the internet and have it shipped to the fertility clinic. It costs about 300 Euros a pop plus shipment. Not cheap but better than waiting! The European Sperm Bank seemed quite serious. They test their donors for sexually transmitted diseases and monitor the number of families that one donor can have. That is 10 families in the UK. You will have to purchase a pregnancy slot for 1,000 Euros to cover the registration fees with the Human Fertilisation & Embryology Authority. It all adds up to a tidy sum. If you need to buy your own sperm for a treatment here is one option: http://www.europeanspermbank.com/

There is a bit of a dodgy services also for “fresh sperm”. Check that out (but only for a laugh). They can match you with a donor and arrange to have freshly produced sperm delivered to your door for home insemination. Think turkey baster! They are all anynomous donors which is not illegal because the law only regulates frozen sperm. http://www.fertility1st.com/

Can’t wait to get on with the tests.